The Suggestion

As if in a dream, my eyes perused the unfamiliar decor of the apricot room. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, the reality slapping me, a gentle pleasurable slap, my body tingling with pleasure. We had finally done it. Hawaii; we had arrived in paradise. I peered across at the mass of black hair protruding from beneath the white satin sheets. Sonia could sleep for England, but on this occasion, jet lag was the culprit.

I tiptoed barefoot to the impressive balcony and looked out onto the stunning golden sands of Waikiki beach, and the unparalleled view of the white-crested waves. The balcony floor was bathed in glorious sunshine, as I hopped from one foot to the other, to evade the burning concrete. The beach was well populated, the bronzed bodies running with their surfboards to meet the oncoming tide, and of course there were the bathing beauties. To my left, I marvelled at the ominous presence of Diamond Head volcano, overlooking this marvellous island of Oahu.

We had done it; we had finally taken the plunge. I had been promising Sonia for long enough about taking her away from the usual annual trips to Benidorm and Majorca. To be in Hawaii for our fifteenth wedding anniversary, now that is spectacular.

Granted over the years we have been a bit too ultra cautious with our life savings, but as the saying goes; you can’t take it with you. The cost of the holiday, I tried to eliminate from my thoughts, after all Sonia was worth it. I had decided to push the boat out and go for the five star Sheraton Hotel. It would take almost three months of my well-earned salary to pay for this luxury, three months of programming computers.

Sonia stirred and as I kissed her forehead, she hinted at a sign of recognition. Her still half closed big brown eyes scanned the room, and a radiant smile spread across her features as she sat up, the gap between her teeth evident.
“Doug, what’s the time?”

“Two-fifteen would you believe it? The bloody jet lags stolen half a day off us.”

“Tell me I’m not dreaming Doug, we’re in Hawaii right?”
I picked her up and carried her to the balcony.

“See that Sonia, not your Levante beach, but Waikiki beach.”

The loud pop music coming from the beach drowned out the noise of the traffic.
“Doug, would you just look at those palm trees? Frigging palm trees, outside our hotel.”

A loud knock on our door interrupted our fantasy. I put on my dressing gown and was greeted by an attractive tanned woman, complete in hula skirt and carrying a tray laden with drinks.

“Aloha, and welcome to Hawaii,” she said in a slow American drawl.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d be up or not but I guess you are. I hope you had a nice flight.
She put a garland of flowers over each of our heads.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you at the airport. I’m Sandy, your rep. Anything, and I mean anything you need you just get in touch with me. Now come on drink up.”

“What are they?” Asked Sonia eyeing the pineapple coloured drinks suspiciously.

“Mai tai’s, they’re gorgeous. Go on have a taste.”

Sonia sipped the cocktail through a straw and her eyes lit up.
“Bloody marvellous. Mai Tai eh? Remember that name hon, I think I’ve found a new friend.”

“I knew you’d love em, I too am partial to the odd one, or two, or three.”
She giggled as she tossed back her dark frizzy locks.

“Now, here are some leaflets, handy information about the island. Some do’s and don’ts if you get my drift. I’m in the bar most evenings, where else?” She laughed.

“I must be going; I have to check out some guests. I’ll no doubt see you tonight. “

“Well she seemed nice enough Doug.”

“Couldn’t wait to get away though.”

“Come on, let’s shower and see some of the island. We’re wasting precious time here.”

I nuzzled her neck and caressed her breast.
“Sightseeing can wait Sonia.”

“Push off you horny bastard, that can wait until later.”


We ambled along the beach, feeling a little over dressed; Sonia was wearing a large blue floppy hat, a pink and black flowered blouse, and blue shorts. Her large sunglasses perched on her upturned nose. I had opted for a red tee-shirt, denim shorts and sandals, along with my prized Nike sunglasses.

Most of the occupants of the beach were bare-chested, and that included the women. I imagined Sonia going topless, but the fleeting fancy passed as quickly as it had entered my corrupt mind. Besides, as nice a figure as my wife had, she would never dream of going topless. Granted she had plenty to show on top if she so wanted to. She had a great sense of humour and had livened up many a party, but she was a little old fashioned about such things, even at the not so old age of thirty-six.

Her idea of an erotic film is Love Story. We even make love with the lights out, unless she’s a little tipsy of course, which is why I don’t object to her drinking. In all of our years of marriage, Sonia I can honestly say has never strayed. I also have retained my marriage vows, though at times it hasn’t been easy.

We’re an average sort of couple, an average semi, an average car, and I have an average type of job. Our batting figures go down when it comes to children. We tried for a couple of years without success to have them, only to find out that Sonia was unable to. So here we are on a not so average holiday; I decided to even things up.

Sonia is actually not bad looking as many of my friends have commented. I only wish she believed that. She was always commenting on her looks, hence her hiding behind the sunglasses and Pedro the donkey hat. She was very conscious about her gap tooth and promised several times to visit the dentists, my objections unheeded. I loved that gap. That’s one of the reasons I married her.

We ambled through the white surf, looking back at the numerous hotels strung out like pearls along Waikiki beach. We sat for a while beneath a palm tree. There was plenty of time later for sun bathing. Who knows, enough Mai Tai’s and maybe I could persuade the love of my life to part with her bra. I can dream can’t I?


After a swift drink in the hotel bar, we gave up on Sandy making an appearance and decided to venture into the unknown streets of Oahu. The sheer magic of the island presented itself to us as we wandered hand in hand towards the sea front. A walk along the beach in the moonlight was Sonia’s wish; mine was for a bar.

The towering Ko’olau mountains were majestically silhouetted behind the many hotels, complimenting Honolulu’s constellation of colourful lights. Several fires were flickering in the gentle breeze, the plucking of guitars blending with the sweeping sound of the surf. We approached one such beach party and were invited to join in with the Hawaiian and American youngsters, but we politely declined. My love of music didn’t stretch to Kumbaya my Lord.

Sonia clung on to my arm and kissed me as we made for the bright twinkling lights of downtown Honolulu. So many bars and restaurants, each one tempting us with their splendid offers and fare.

“Excuse me. Could you spare a moment?”

For a second I thought he said dime.
A smart suited young American addressed us and offered his hand. I was a little wary and usually just shook my head and walked on, but this smarmy looking man was gripping my wife’s hand and charming her with his boy next door smile. I swear I saw a sparkle off his perfect white teeth as he spoke.

“Hi guys, my names John. You’re invited to a buffet and film at the Hotel Polynesia. It’s only one hundred meters away and you qualify for a free rental car for a week.”

“Not interested, sorry.”

I attempted to walk away, but was pulled back by my wife, The ever smiling Yank was still attached to her hand.
“Do you mind leaving go of my wife’s hand?”

“British right? I love the Brits. Isn’t London a beautiful city?”

“London sucks,” I said, hoping I’d hurt his feelings.

“Look, there’s absolutely no obligation. You watch a film, which lasts fifteen minutes, then you’re given a very short talk. Free drinks are thrown in. You’re then free to go, with your free rental car of course.”

“Forget it John boy, what is it. Time-share I bet?”

“Well yes but...”

“Piss off.”

“Doug, don’t be rude. A free car for a week you said, and free food and drink?”

“That’s correct maam, you’re free to go at anytime. I’ll even escort you there myself.”

“Come on Doug, what have we to lose?”

“No Sonya, can’t you see it’s a scam?”

“Please, please,” she looked at me with those big brown eyes and her bottom lip sticking out.

“Okay, but no matter what, we’re walking out of there our bank balance intact.”

“Of course sir, there are no obligations. I’ll show you were it is.”


My arm was dead from the hefty nudges administered by Sonia as we sat through fifteen minutes of boredom. Another couple had been roped in off the streets, no doubt unable to resist the temptation of a free rental car.

A tall grey-haired man with horn-rimmed spectacles stood watching us, his arms folded, a fixed smile on his craggy face. The projector died and we were prompted to follow the man into a room with enough food to feed the third world, the soft irritating music playing in the background.

As we shuffled along the table filling our plates, I could not help staring at the blonde woman in front of us. Her and her partner chose carefully before adding to their plates, definitely health freaks, and American to boot. She had a figure so slender, I swear my hands could have encircled her waist and not touched her. She had long straight blonde hair and the face of a Goddess. I caught her eye as she turned to speak to her hunky partner whist clutching a celery stick. She smiled at me, and I felt like a little boy with a crush on his schoolteacher. Everything about her face was perfect, her high cheekbones and perfect tiny nose, to her piercing blue eyes. She reminded me of one of those Baywatch babes off the TV, and had the complexion of honey. She ran her tongue over her moist red lips and I almost dropped my plate.

The grey-haired American who was called Brad, would you believe it, beckoned us over to join him and the couple. I felt a little embarrassed at my piled up plate, oozing with unhealthy foodstuffs. Sonia had been a little more conservative. Brad poured out four large glasses of champagne and then the patter began.

“Doug, Sonia, I want you to meet Steve and Jill. They like you are interested in our Timeshare apartments.”

“Now hold on; I didn’t say I was interested.”

“Of course. Now you must admit you feel a little tempted by our marvellous offer.”

I only half heard him as the distraction of Jill was contagious. Even the way she nibbled on her cracker had sexual intones for me.

A three bedroom, two bathroom five star conda, scattered around some of the most wondrous islands of the Pacific, for only eighteen-thousand dollars ownership fee, and four-thousand-eight hundred dollars maintenance fee. For that you get two weeks per year vacation at one of the venues and wait for it. After ten years you have total ownership. Now go on, admit you’re tempted?”

The only thing that was tempting me on offer was the luscious blonde. My eyes were fixed on her breasts, her ample nipples protruding through her yellow top. Sonia dug me in the side and my fantasy faded.

“Once you sign, there is a seven-day rescission deadline.”

“It sounds wonderful darling,” said Jill.

“I’m not so sure honey; you hear about so many Timeshare scams nowadays,” drawled Steve, looking the Hollywood macho man with his carefully groomed hair and muscles like Popeye. I figured this attractive couple to be in their mid-twenties.
“Aw come on Steve, we can afford it.”

“Shucks, I must say I’m tempted, but let us have a little time to think it over.”

“Of course, take as much time as you like, just as long as it’s within a week of course. I do agree with you about these Timeshare scams; these people have given our business such a bad reputation, but I can guarantee you Steve, this firm is legitimate and has so many satisfied customers. If you want, I can introduce you to some of them?”

“No thanks, like I said, we’ll sleep on it.”

“And you Doug and Sonia; are you interested?”

“Yes, very much so,” enthused Sonia.

“Ah wonderful.”

“We’ll also like time to think about it,” I interrupted.

Brad shook our hands and the four of us exited the plush hotel and the humidity of the night shrouded us.
“What do you think Doug, do you trust this guy?”

“No way.”

“Oh Steve, take no notice of him. He doesn’t even trust our local vicar.”

“Look, why don’t you join us for a nightcap? I know this wonderful bar not too far from here.”

I got the nod of approval from Sonia, and I must admit I was delighted to spend a few more minutes in the presence of the blonde beauty.

The Blue Canoe was indeed a sight to behold; a white marble bar was set in the centre of the building, and the walls; well there weren’t any. A massive aquarium surrounded the bar. Sharks and numerous nameless coloured fish swam around ignorant of the thirsty customers. You could even scuba dive in the aquarium, not in the shark tank of course.

I ensured that I was sitting between the women as we mounted the tall silver-based stools. Jill’s short skirt rode up her thighs, revealing a glimpse of her red panties. I felt my old man twitch slightly at the spectacle.

“What ye having Doug, Sonia?”

“Oh thanks Steve. I’ll have a Bud please.”

“One of those Mai Tai things please Steve.”

“Sure, I see you’ve discovered the local firewater already eh?”

“Oh they’re gorgeous,” said Sonya.

My eyes fixed on the large killer shark as it menacingly glared at me. I was half expecting the Jaws music to replace Bryan Adams. My attention was rapidly diverted as I felt a foot against mine. This was no accident; Jill was actually rubbing her high-heeled shoe against me. My twitch had now turned to a half erection as I shuffled uncomfortably, ensuring my foot kept in contact with hers.

I turned to Sonia and smiled, hoping she hadn’t noticed. She hadn’t as her attention was taken by the hunky Steve who had manoeuvred his stool close to hers.
“Tell me Doug, what do you do?”

I felt my Adam’s apple growing the size of a tennis ball at her question. It was the provocative way she asked in that husky, oh so sexy voice.

I’m a computer programmer,” I squeaked, clearing my throat. “And I do a bit of Karate.”

I realised how pathetic that last comment sounded as I tried to impress Jill, holding in my stomach as I raised an eyebrow.

“Karate? Wow!” She felt my diminutive muscles as I tried with all my might to expand them. I chanced a glance at Sonia who was giggling like a schoolgirl as Steve whispered something in her ear.

“I love older men Doug,” she said removing a cigarette from her handbag.
I reached for the book of matches on the bar and tried to strike one. After four attempts she lit it herself with her silver lighter. The more I tried to impress her the worse it got, as I stuttered profusely.

“Hey Doug, Steve has offered to show us around the island tomorrow. Isn’t that wonderful hon?”

“Are you sure Steve? I mean, we don’t wanna spoil your holiday?”

“Nonsense, we’ve been here so many times. We’ll be happy to show you the sights.”

The foot climbing up my leg made up my mind.
“You’ve got a deal Steve. Ready for another?”

“Sure, a Bud for me.”

I turned to Jill who was blowing a plume of smoke towards the ceiling. She put her hand upon my knee and said, ”I fancy a cocktail. A Pina Colada for me Doug.”

That did it, I had to stand at the bar to hide my complete erection as I ordered the drinks.

“Will you excuse me; I need the men’s room.”

“I think you do,” smiled Jill looking towards my bulging groin.
I scampered to the toilet passing the merry revellers, hoping my predicament was not apparent.


Several drinks later we said our goodbyes and made our way back to the hotel hand in hand. Sonia marvelled at the beautiful night sky, set against the lights of Honolulu. My mind was on other things. I was missing Jill already.

That night we made love like we had never made before. We were at it like rampant rabbits for what must have been three hours. For once I welcomed the darkness as I played out my fantasy. The funny thing is though, why was Sonia so over enthusiastic? I was soon to find out!


To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I looked down on our free rental car. Not a Cadillac liked I envisaged, but a clapped out pea green jeep. Steve didn’t share my misery, as he said it was perfect. It took me a few minutes to get used to the gear stick being on the right, but mastered it before we hit the freeway. Now that was an experience. There were so many lanes; I would have been completely lost if it wasn’t for the fact I was following Steve.

Jill looked over her shoulder several times and smiled.
“She likes you Doug.”

“Who?”

“Who? Jill, that’s who.”

“Don’t be ridiculous; I must admit, I’d be a good fish to reel in, but she’s too young for me.”

“Ha! Come off it Doug, you’re past it. Go on, admit it.”

“I certainly am not past it! I’m only thirty-six, not yet at the prime of my life.”

“Thirty-seven.”

“What?”

“You’re thirty-seven Doug.”

“Are you sure? Anyway, I had no complaints last night did I.? Only screams and moans.”

“Don’t flatter yourself hon, I have a great imagination.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Forget it.”

I looked across at her, that wry grin on her reddened face, as the wind blew her black ringlets about her face. The gap between her teeth didn’t look so appealing at this minute.

Eventually we pulled off the Freeway and Steve slowed down and we pulled up level with them.

“Gumball,” He screamed and Jill let out a shriek as he put his foot down and sped away.

Ten minutes later we stopped outside the Polynesian Cultural Centre. We visited all seven villages, viewing the arts and handicraft before browsing through the marketplace. We marvelled at the native performers as they fire-walked.

I must admit to feeling a little jealous every time Steve kissed his girlfriend or put his thick arm around her. He was attired in a green vest and white shorts and was wearing a Miami Dolphins baseball cap. Not a bead of sweat could be seen on him. I in comparison was soaked through, and my head was red. In my foolishness I had forgotten to apply sun tan lotion. It bothered Sonia not one iota as she wore her floppy hat.

After the Polynesian Cultural Centre we visited the worlds largest maze in Wahiawa and then saw the marvellous spectacle of the Halowa lookout, or the blow hole as it’s sometimes referred to. The blowhole is a natural ocean geezer on the East Coast of the island. The surf is forced through an L-shaped lave tube, which explodes upwards from the pressure.

Steve saved the best until last. Pearl Harbour. After a short film we were whisked out by navy launch to the Arizona memorial, which straddles the sunken hull of the battleship, USS Arizona which was sunk in the infamous attack on the island in 1941.

We arrived back at our hotel about seven' o'clock and I immediately went about applying after-sun. I looked in the mirror and a pathetic red faced stranger looked back at me. I could see Sonia sniggering in the background as she prepared to shower.

“All these times we’ve been away Doug, you should know by now about the perils of the sun.”

“I forgot didn’t I? I squirmed as I felt the soreness behind my legs.

Two hours, two more hours and I’d be back in the company of my fair-haired Goddess. I counted every second in my head.


They greeted us as if we were lifelong friends as we entered the Blue Canoe. I felt like a prat with my red and grey Hawaiian shirt Sonia had bought me at the Polynesian market. I felt even worse when I saw what Steve was wearing. He had on an expensive cream suit, and an open necked white silk shirt. Jill looked gorgeous in a sky-blue dress, a string of pearls hanging from her delicate neck. A blue orchid nestled in her tied up golden hair.

“You look er.. different Doug,” said Steve with a smirk on his face.

“I knew I shouldn’t have worn it.”

“Nonsense, you blend in with the surroundings,” added Jill.

I weren’t sure if they were taking the piss or being complimentary. Steve kissed Sonia’s hand and her face turned the same colour as her dress, red. My face certainly blended in with it.

After a couple of drinks Steve suggested moving on to the Purple Lobster, a local club. I was beginning to believe that every bar and club in Hawaii was named with a colour.

This club was different, a kaleidoscope of colours moved around the walls. The club was dimly lit, welcoming and not seedy as I imagined. We took our seats besides the dance floor and the music started.

Steve clicked his fingers and ordered our drinks. I again was seated between the two women, with Steve sitting opposite. The usual foot playing had begun, and I didn’t object.

Paul McCartney's “Live and Let Die, reached us from every corner of the club as the topless girls walked onto the stage to the rapturous applause. I looked towards Sonia and expected a stern look, but no, she was applauding and smiling. The girls danced at their poles and I felt a hand on my knee beneath the table. I turned my head towards Jill who remained motionless.

After a while Steve took a twenty-dollar bill from his wallet and waved it in the air. A tall leggy black girl approached our table; a permanent smile fixed on her face. She climbed onto the table and Steve prompted Sonia to place the bill into the girl’s garter. She reddened slightly but to my utter surprise she completed the task. The girl stood over me, her legs apart as she swayed from side to side.

I felt Jill’s hand now rubbing my groin as the black girl wiggled her large breasts. Steve had moved besides Sonia and she put her hand on his. My mind was racing, what with the effects of the alcohol and the smokiness of the club my emotions were scrambled. This was not right; we were being seduced in front of a mass audience. My instinct told me to remove Jill’s hand, but my hormones were in conflict. I felt the dampness as Jill rubbed me with more vigour.

“Excuse me, I need the men’s room.”

“Oh you do have a weak bladder Doug,” said Steve grinning as I watched his hand below the table. Sonia was looking a little flushed and it didn’t take a genius to work out why.

I stood at the mirror and threw some water on my face. There were many after-shaves and fragrances on offer but I neglected them as I tried to get my thoughts together.

An Hawaiian who must have bought his shirt off the same stall as me, stood at the trough and looked my way, nodding his head and smiling.

What were these two playing at? Okay, we live in a provocative age, but why us? Steve and Jill were an attractive couple and could pull anyone they desired. Sonia could pass as being attractive I suppose, but me? I have had my moments over the years, actually my looks have been compared to Bruce Springsteins, but something just didn’t ring true here. Jill could do better than me. I looked down at my beer belly, breathing in and turning to the side as I looked through the mirror, much to the amusement of my Hawaiian friend who was shaking his member.

The door opened and Jill approached me, a look of lust in her face.

The Hawaiian was still shaking his little man, mouth agape as she pushed me into a cubicle. Her soft mouth enveloped mine as she struggled with my belt. She sat me on the bowl and removed her panties before straddling me. She sank onto me moaning gently as she moved slowly. She reached for my hands and placed them on her breasts, her long tongue darting in and out of my welcoming mouth. She now moved faster, her groans getting louder as she worked herself into a frenzy. I couldn’t hold on much longer as I moved with her rhythm, the explosion imminent.

I had to put my hand over her mouth as she screamed loudly. She kissed me once more and proceeded to dress herself. She held my hand and led me through the men’s room, oblivious of the leering men. Before we exited the room, I heard moans coming from the first cubicle. I grinned and thought what sort of place is this?

We took our seats as if nothing had happened and noticed the absence of Steve and Sonia.

“I wonder where they are Jill?”

She just grinned and lit a cigarette. My eyes darted to the men’s room. Steve and Sonia were just leaving hand in hand.

I looked to Sonia but she ignored me. There was a prolonged silence as we watched the dancing girls. I felt a little ashamed, but also angry. This young American arsehole had violated my wife. Jill must have realised my discomfort and placed her hand on mine. This was not right but I needed Jill like she was a drug.

Steve broke the eerie silence.
“How about some fresh air?”

We all agreed and headed for the beach.
“Look Doug, what happened tonight, it was nothing. Just a bit of fun and we didn’t do anyone any harm now did we? We’re all consenting adults.”

“I suppose so but isn’t this a dangerous game we’re playing?”

“Not really, we’ve never had any problems before.”

“Before! You mean you do this all the time?”

“Sure, when we can. Come on, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it?”

Jill squeezed my hand tightly.
“So you’re sort of swingers I guess?” Asked Sonia.

I was shocked by her effrontery. I didn’t even know Sonia knew of such things.
“Yeah, you could call us that I suppose.”

“So tonight meant nothing?” Asked Sonia leaving go of Steve’s hand.

“Oh it meant something alright Sonia, it meant something.”

We sat on the sand, the sound of the breaking surf keeping us company, along with the strumming of a guitar in the background.

“Jill and I are seriously thinking of buying a Timeshare pad. We could move out here when we retire.”

“Are you serious?” I asked. Do you have that kind of money?”

“I can get it. How about you?”

“Well we certainly have the money, but its a big decision to make. Who knows what the future holds?”

There was another long silence before Steve spoke.
“Look, I have a suggestion. Stop me if I’m being a little forward. You both agree you enjoyed tonight eh?”

We nodded in unison.
“Well my suggestion is this. We swap partners for the whole two weeks we’re here. Think about it. Unbridled passion with a stranger. Is there a better turn on than that?”
I looked to Sonia who smiled.

“Steve, I don’t want to sound like a party pooper, but why us? I mean look at us. We’re not your type surely.”

“Aren’t you? Jill and I are into older people. Its just something we like doing.”

“Just for the two weeks you say, and then we go our separate ways?”

“Sure Doug, no ties. You’ll go home rejuvenated, believe me.”

“Well Sonia?” I asked.

She threw her arms around Steve’s neck. I had my answer.


I woke up that morning, a long slender leg wrapped around my body. The usual black hair was replaced by golden locks. I thought I’d gone to heaven as I recalled our energetic lovemaking. What made it more sensual was the sound of Sonia and Steve making love in the lounge.

I walked to the fridge and reached for the bottled water, before I ventured a peep into the lounge to find it empty. As I leaned over the balcony I could see one of the jeeps had gone. I heard the wolf whistles off the balcony opposite as I realised I was as naked as a newborn baby. The cleaner, a middle-aged woman was getting a right eyeful.

My assumption was they’d probably gone for groceries.

We had been with our new partners a mere eight hours and here I was, the jealousy eating at me. Jill pulled me to the bed and climbed on top of me. This could be an exhausting fortnight!


They returned some six hours later.
“Where the fuck have you two been?” I asked.

“And what the fuck has it to do with you?” Replied Steve.

“In case its escaped your attention, Sonia’s my wife.”

“Is she? Not for long she’s not.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Sonia, what’s he mean by that?”

“I’m leaving you Doug.”

“What! Hold on a fucking minute, did I hear you right?”

Steve stood face to face with me.

“She’s fucking leaving you!” He yelled.

“So last night, that was just a load of bullshit was it?”

“Last night we agreed to swap partners. Today is another day. We love each other, isn’t that right Sonia?”

“It’s right Doug,” she muttered emptying her wardrobe.

“You never realised what you had Doug. Sonia’s the fuck of a lifetime.”

I turned to Jill who was flicking through the channels with the remote control.
“Well what do you have to say about this?”

She shrugged her shoulders and said, “Life goes on.”

“That’s it, life goes on? He’s stealing my wife and walking out on you.”

“We have each other lover. I’m happy with that.”

They finished packing and Sonia kissed me on the cheek.
“Goodbye Doug.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” I said grabbing her suitcase.

I never saw the punch, but I sure felt it as I lay sprawled on the bed. I had a red nose to go with the rest of my face. I heard the door slam and Sonia was gone.

Jill wiped away the blood from my nose; she seemed unconcerned about the events of the last fifteen minutes. I tried in vain to see what good could come out of Sonia’s departure, but failed miserably. I looked at the blonde beauty sat on my knee and realised Jill made a great consolation prize.


We ate lunch on the balcony after another session of lovemaking. Jill had opted for a bowl of fruit and was nibbling on a banana.

“Doug darling; have you had a think over the Timeshare apartment?”

“That’s the last thing on my mind at the moment Jill.”

“But you do love me don’t you?”

“Yes, I guess I do love you Jill.”


She leaned over and kissed me.
“Where do you live Jill?”

“Miami, or I did. We shared a flat together. I’m so excited, I’ve never before been to England.”

“Oh they’ll love you back home Jill.”

“And when we buy the Timeshare we can return here every year.”

“Fuck the Timeshare. Sonia was keen on it but not me.”

She gave me a hard stare.
“Really?”

Yes really.”

Her face changed, hatred took the place of love.
“Well Limey, you can kiss my arse.”

She began to pack.
“What the fuck’s going on here?”

“I’m leaving that’s what.”

I gripped her arm.
“Don’t you fucking touch me. Did you really think I could fancy you? I deserve an Oscar for my performance in the sack. Aw, aw, yes, yes, yessss!” She laughed.

“You cow. But why? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Doesn’t it? I’ll leave you to work it out. Have a nice day now.”
She slammed the door on her way out.


After that I hit the bottle. I must have visited every bar in Honolulu. My life had changed completely and I even frequented Chinatown, which I had been warned against. It was there that I picked up the first of several prostitutes. It had left a large hole in my bank account.

I sat on the edge of my bed two days before I was due to go home. I realised that today was our wedding anniversary. I took a large swig of Jack Daniels from my half empty bottle and walked out onto the balcony. Again I didn’t have a stitch on but gave up caring. I put the bottle down and gripped the balcony and looked down onto the road below.

I was contemplating suicide. It had come to this. It had taken the events of the last fortnight for me to realise how much I loved Sonia. The thought of her and her American lover screwing was etched in my mind. I know now I never loved Jill, she was just an obscure fantasy, trapped in the corridors of my warped mind.
I put one leg over the railing and heard the phone ringing. I pondered for a moment and walked over to the phone.

“Hello.”

“Doug, its me Sonia.”
“Sonia!”

She was crying as she continued.
“Doug, I’m so sorry for everything. I made such an awful mistake.“

“You did! Where are you Sonia?”

“At home in England.”

“England! Is that shitbag with you?”

“Steve? No, he’s history. Oh Doug, how could I fall for it?“

“Fall for what Sonia?”

“Steve talked me into buying the Timeshare apartment. I thought he loved me, but no. He was only after my money.”

“I don’t understand Sonia. If you bought it what’s his motive? It belongs to you.”

“I don’t know. As soon as the week was up he left me. It was too late by then to get my money back.”

“Sonia, I love you.”

“After all I’ve done to you Doug?” She sobbed.

“We’ve both been foolish Sonia. To think we could still pull a young couple at our age. What were we thinking?”

She laughed.
“Oh I don’t know, you’re not such a bad fish after all.”

“Sonia, will you have me back?”

“Yes, yes, yes yes yes, oh yes.”

“I’ll see you on Sunday then. We’ll laugh about this one day.”

“We sure will, I love you; Oh and by the way. Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary.”

I put the phone down and mused over the prostitutes I’d been with. Should I tell her or not? Perhaps its best to come clean. I poured the remaining Jack Daniel’s down the sink. It was a start. Now there was one more matter to attend to.


I marched past the startled receptionist, and took the steps three at a time. She must have wondered who this demented stranger with the red Hawaiian shirt was. I loped swiftly down the corridor, the anger inside me raging.

I opened the door to the projector room and Brad let out a “shhh.”
Two couples had their backs to me; the con was in operation.
I cleared my throat noisily and the two couples turned to face me. Steve stood up and smiled.

“Why Doug, what a surprise. Can we talk outside?”

“Sure we can Steve.”

“Hold on a moment, this is most inappropriate,” said Brad wiping his spectacles.

“Brad, fuck you, and fuck your Timeshare.”

I turned to the young English couple.
“Don’t listen to these people; they’ll take your money and ruin you life. Now run along.”

“You’re out of order Faraday!”

“Am I? Am I really? You I can understand, you own the company. But you two, what do you get out of this?”

“Ten per cent,” butted in Jill.

“Ten per fucking cent, and for that you almost ruined my marriage and killed me. Ten per cent. You’re nothing more than prostitutes.”

“But it pays well, and Faraday. Your wife really is a good screw.”

I mustered every ounce of strength in my body and punched him so hard I thought I’d broken my hand. I swear I came in my pants as he slid across the table and hit his head against the wall with a crashing thud.

Jill stood with her hands on her hips grinning like a hyena on heat.
“So what ye gonna do to me then? Hit me?”

My scruples had gone AWOL as I connected with her chin and sent her on the same journey as her lover. I then turned to Brad.

“Now, you have two options. You can return my wife’s money, in which case I’ll leave you to fester in the sewers of your trade and you’ll hear no more from me. Or option two. You can keep our money and I’ll lobby up and down this hotel all day today and tomorrow turning potential customers away. And next year I’ll do the same until you return our money. Your choice arsehole.”

“Is it Sonia with an I or a Y?” He asked removing his chequebook from his pocket.
Before I left I approached Jill and she squirmed away, putting up her hands to protect herself.

“By the way Jill, I was faking it too. You’re just not my type,”