A small group of men are sitting facing a woman who is pacing up and down in front of them reading from a sheaf of notes. They all wear logo’d sweatshirts. Some of the men have shaven heads and are very ‘chunky’.

RAMONA:

Team 1 will be Dave and Tom. Team 2, ….. Ivan and Terry. Team 3, …..Alex and Nev.

[Continues]

NEV, when filling in the paperwork please use the full company name. You know MRS TAZIOLI doesn’t like the shortened form.

NEV:

But, everyone knows who we are!

RAMONA:

Who’s the boss?!!

SIMON puts his hand up as if at school.

SIMON:

Ramona? Why don’t we just change the name?

RAMONA:

Branding. TART… er, the Tazioli Asset Repossession and Trading is the Rolls Royce of our industry.

SIMON:

Well, why don’t you just change the first word.

RAMONA:

To?

SIMON:

Financial.

RAMONA stops and looks thoughtful.

RAMONA:

SIMON. You should think of this job as just a stepping stone to another career.

Somebody in the group sniggers.

RAMONA:

Since you’ve reminded me, … I have a bit more to say. I think that your talents probably do lie outside the repossession industry.

…..You are, shall we say ….Differently Skilled to the rest of the guys.

SIMON:

….If this is about last week……

More laughing.

SIMON:

I ……it’s just teething trouble. I’m getting better.

RAMONA:

Some people have it and …

SIMON:

I know I’m not the best ….yet but…..

RAMONA:

[Finally exasperated]

SIMON you ….are……crap!

Useless.

A liability.

You’re costing us more than you earn us!!!!

SIMON

[Defensively]:

I got the Porsche you wanted!

RAMONA:

The Bailiff got the Porsche. You got the speeding ticket!!!!

SIMON:

Could’ve happened to anyone.

RAMONA:
In the car transporter?

Howls of laughter from the others.

SIMON:

RAMONA. Tomorrow I’ll show you how good I can be.

RAMONA looks closely at SIMON weighing up the possibility of that happening.

RAMONA:

Alright SIMON. You can go with GERRY tomorrow. If you pull a good day, I’ll review what’s going to happen.

[ADDRESSES GERRY]

GERRY, Mr Louis Tilt. Recognise the name?

Good.

I want his vehicle!!

He’s been running us ragged long enough. A bonus of £200 for each of you if you get it.

CUT TO:

A street lined by terraced houses on both sides. Mixture of vehicles are parked on both sides of the road. One of these vehicles is a battered looking Citroen Van. SIMON is crouched at the side of the front wheel, struggling to fit a wheel clamp.[The clamp bares the Logo and address of the company]. GERRY is standing close by him watching and offering advice.

GERRY:

It’s on wrong. Turn it round.

SIMON:

You want to do it?

GERRY:

An’ keep the noise down. We don’t want to wake the neighbours.

SIMON:

[quietly to himself]

You’re the only one making a noise.

Finally, he stands having finished fitting the clamp.

SIMON:

Right. That’s ok. Got the lock?

GERRY:

In the glove compartment.

SIMON:

…….Well, would you mind getting them then? Please.

GERRY:

Should’ve had it ready.

SIMON:

Am I missing something here?

GERRY:

Alright, ….I’ll get it.

CUT TO:

A curtain is seen moving in the upstairs window of a house. We see a long-haired, bearded man peering down into the street.

Man:

Bastard!

Man [muffled shout]:

Oi! Piss off!

CUT TO:

GERRY is still looking inside their vehicle for the lock. He looks up and sees the face.

Gerry:

Shit!

He stands up and looks at SIMON and indicates the house.

GERRY:

He’s seen us.

CUT TO:

Man exiting house. He is in forties, long hair with tattoos on his bare chest. He is only wearing pair of jeans. Barefoot. He approaches the van with a Golf club in his hand.

Quickly GERRY throws the lock which he has now found to SIMON. Quickly he slips the lock onto the clamp, stands up and runs to the van and jumps in the passenger seat. GERRY has by now locked his door and started the engine. As they screech off into the road, the golf club smashes down on the roof.

GERRY:

Shit!

SIMON:

Christ, get going.

As they speed off they whoop with exhilaration and relief.

SIMON:

That was bloody close. We’ll wait until later and go back to finish the job. Should be able to use the slip kit, de-clamp then tow it away. Don’t think he’s going to give us the keys eh?

GERRY:

You should’ve seen your face. What a picture.

CUT TO:

CLOSE UP on the wheel clamp. We see the lock still has the keys dangling from it. The MAN squats by the wheel and grins to himself.

CUT TO:

GERRY and SIMON’s van parks. There is a visible dent in the roof. Both exit the car and enter the building.

CUT TO:

RAMONA sitting in front of computer screen with earpiece and microphone on. GERRY and SIMON wave hello and she smiles back. She continues talking into the microphone.

RAMONA:

I am so pleased that you let me know. Yes. By the end of play today. Guaranteed.

She turns smiling broadly to GERRY and SIMON.

RAMONA:

Guys, how’s it going today?

GERRY:

Three so far and one on a clamp. We’ll get that this evening.

SIMON [Looking at GERRY and grinning]:

Bit tough that last one. Only just got away in time. You should be paying us danger money Ramona.

RAMONA:

Ooh. Sounds interesting. Tell me ‘bout it.

GERRY:

That job in Reading, er …job number 1107?

RAMONA:

Oh yes, …..the Citroen Van.

SIMON:

Yeah. We located it but …..…

RAMONA:

You’re not going to tell me you didn’t get it?

GERRY:

‘course not!

RAMONA:

…So, …..tell me. Which clamp did you use on the Citroen?

GERRY:

Number 11 ….I think.

RAMONA:

Yes number 11. That’s what the nice policeman said.

SIMON [Defensively now]:

Policeman? It was all legal. The van was parked on the road.

RAMONA:

I’m sure the van was but, …somehow, clamp number 11, has transferred itself to a police car!!

GERRY and SIMON exchange looks.

CUT TO: