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Changing
Faces
I
was not conceived the way the rest of you
are…!
I was not given birth the way the rest of you
are…!
I was born slightly differently, in a manner
never before known, and possibly, never again
known!
I do not own the body I occupy!
I say occupy, but that isn’t really the right
word for it. I think maybe… share! Yes, share
is the right word.
I Share, this body with another, another person,
another one of me.
This is hard for me to talk about because I have
a problem with the person whose body I share.
The problem is that he – this other person –
has the control. He has the free run of the
body.
It has been this way since the beginning, since
my birth. But, I have decided to change that! I
have decided that he is not fit, not deserving
to own, to run, to control this body of ours,
and I am going to take it from him.
His name is Richard Carter, a nice man by your
standards! Does everything right, never breaks
any of your laws! Never does anything he isn’t
supposed to do…apart from one thing: he will
not let me have my go – my turn! He is selfish
and arrogant toward my needs, and it’s not
fair… it’s so unfair!
I was born when he – Richard – drowned while
on vacation with his parents as a young boy.
Richard doesn’t like thinking about it, in
fact, over the years that have past since it
happened he has tried his paramount to forget
about it!
I haven’t been as lucky!
You see I exist in the depths of his mind, in
the darkest corners and the dirtiest holes where
he dares not venture. In these regions, exist
the memories that he has forgotten, the memories
that he has forced from his mind because they
are too harrowing for him to live with. But with
this action he commits another, one that is
unknown to him, or, one that he chooses to
ignore; he commits me to live with them every
second of my life.
He
forces me to watch the events of that fateful
day over and over again. To feel the pain of his
death and my birth, as though it’s my
punishment for something he's done.
At the beginning – when he learnt how to
suppress me, the pain became almost too much for
me to live with…
Now
though, I’ve learnt to live with them
harmoniously, and better than that, I now feed
from them. I build my strengths from them, I
plan my take over – involving them, and…
together we will take him down!
I think the best place to start is by telling
you how we – Richard and I – became as
one… or, if you were to think logically about
it, how we became separated!
Have you ever felt inside you that you don’t
always say that which you think?
What I mean by that – and I’ll give you an
example to clarify what I'm attempting to tell
you – is that, for instance!
Say you are doing your weekly grocery shopping,
everything’s going fine, you have everything
you went for and off you got to the cashiers
station to pay. There's a queue – it irritates
you a little, the way it does every week when
you get there. You think about how it would be
much better if the store manager could (for
once) pay attention to your predicament and open
another cashiers station – just for you. The
silent voice within you begins to coax you; it
begins to make you feel as though this only
happens when you’re in the store, that when
you’re not there, everything runs fine and
pleasantly with no queuing.
The voice within is beginning to arouse your
anger, it’s beginning to make you feel let
down by the store’s helpful policies of not
making you queue for longer than – say a few
minutes. Your senses become more aware and you
see a large bold typeface sign hanging from the
ceiling that reads… “We Will Do Our Best To
Serve You Within 5 Minutes. If We Fail This,
Please Notify A Member Of Staff Who will Be
DELIGHTED To See That This Does Not Happen
Again!”
You’ve tried that before – on countless
occasions and nothings ever come of it. |
