BAZWAHWAH
LINCOLN UNIVERSITY STUDENT UNION BAR:
Tuesday February 13th 2001

Five men are huddled together in a corner of Lincoln University student union bar. To the outside it looks like a team motivation move as used by Celtic before big games. But get closer and you’ll realise that they are in fact laughing, because they know what they are about to give to a largely unsuspecting public.

Not for them an indifferent shuffle on stage and bemused looks all round to an audience that is indistinguishable from the band. These aren’t a would-be Travis or Coldplay. Armed snipers make sure that no Toploader fans are to be found within a mile of the stage. (although blond rock goddess Candy-Candy is conditionally exempted as befits her special guest status).

Steve and Phil take up their opening positions – the former on the stool, guitar on knee, the latter lies down on a mattress and holds a love letter. A guitar strum, the first line of I had a dream is read aloud. The show has begun.

British music is in a terrible state. It’s bad enough when manufactured bands dominate the airwaves and the record industry (consisting mainly of men in their 40s and 50s) show an almost paedophile interest in pretty youths (you make the connection).

Those proper bands that do make the airwaves are all much the same. Look at the annual Q awards and you’ll be hard pressed to tell people apart; the same hair and clothes; the same hugging each other and mugging the camera; the same weedy voices and whiny guitars. God forbid its taken Limp Biskit to knock Britain out of its lethargy.
It is rare for bands such as Bazwahwah and the forthcoming Idiot Box to be given a stage in their own student union as management see live gigs as merely an extension of the juke box – cover versions and karaoke welcome, but nothing radical please. After all we are students.

That’s why bands like Bazwahwah are important. Not because of their lyrics or music style, but because they totally believe in what they are doing and if the audience follows them – great. If not – great.

Once they start, it’s pretty apparent that Bazwahwah are more than the parts of the sum.

Phil Byrne’s emotive voice and movements are the main reason for the show being a visual experience. Whether lying down, liberating teabags from a tea cosy or distributing Smarties to the poor, he is the band’s soul. Earlier in the day he’d bought a music box for the band to play along to. When it didn’t work he smashed it on the floor and ploughed on into Hollow Loaf.

Everywhere he goes, fellow Wah Steve Bray’s guitar follows. As yet it’s hard to see who is dominant in the song-writing partnership. One minute Phil is MacCartney to Steve’s Jagger – the next it’s Bray’s guitar that assumes Keith Richard’s arrogance over Byrne’s Lennon-like bitterness. But it isn’t important.

On bass, big Steve Braund stands rock like – the Winston Churchill of the stage, a ‘they shall not pass’ look on his face. Like Churchill, we had cast him into a wilderness and he too came back and saved us from the music Nazis that would enslave us with bland pop.

In the half shadows, Dan Martino covers both Steves effortlessly, daring comparisons with Bernard Butler but too modest to allow it to happen.

Behind them all sits the gig-virgin Raf - his drums mopping up all who survived the pincers of Phil’s voice and the mighty Braund’s bass. His recent unfortunate intervention in the Middle East crisis is clearly now forgiven by a screaming audience and Raf plays ‘Rock God’ as Leeds would play Hartlepool – mockingly and dominant. At the end he does lose it somewhat when he recognises Toploader fan Candy-Candy and throws his drumsticks at her, but it’s put down to age and a rush of blood.

The gig finished, band manager cum Svengali AndyBarnes.com takes command of the band’s rider and soon 40% of the bar’s contents are marching over to where our heroes have retired. The audience are still trying to trace the influences of other bands. Mention is made of Radiohead, Joy Division, The Sensational Alex Harvey band and Pink Floyd. Idiot Box’s Kristian Barford even suggests Half Man Half Biscuit. Such wisdom from the Barf suggest his own future gig will also be a must see.

And what lies ahead for the band. Well there is an upcoming appearance in a famous radio comedy coming up where they unveil a new purpose written song ‘Funky Hawaiian Shirt’ as well as Phil’s now legendary walk on role. Of course, this won’t give them top billing over Sophie and Tanya but then what would?

Naturally, a lot of the crowd came to hear ‘Kill the wasp’ and some later wept bitterly when they realised that it wasn’t part of the set. The reason for it’s exclusion is simple – the crowd are not yet ready to hear it, much as the public of 1967 were not ready for Hey Jude, so they were given Sgt Pepper to play with until they had been mentally prepared. Be patient children - it’s coming, it’s coming.